I kicked off my Lollipop Chainsaw boozefest 9000, (Don’t worry, it’s just a working title), last night with Zed and a rather obscenely named cocktail Tonight, I will feature two more bosses, discuss them, and offer a creative mixed drink that represents them. So let’s keep going, shall we?
5: Killabilly, the Zombie of Zombies
Kicking off tonight is the final boss of the game. It’s Dead Elvis, everybody! While this was one of the most hilarious things I have ever seen in my life, I found the boss fight rather dull and lacking in pizazz for a final boss. Granted the theatrics of the fight were great, but other than that I found it not nearly as creative or interesting as some of the bosses higher on this list, and it seemed over far too quickly. Still, the sight of a Godzilla-sized Elvis throwing cars at you is enough to make even the most hardened no-nonsense gamer laugh their ass off. This boss is somewhat implicitly disturbing, however, when one thinks back to the decline of the real life Elvis, who tragically died after losing himself to American overindulgence. Still, tragedy aside, there was not a better choice for this boss because Elvis was and still is the King of Rock and Roll, the artist whose music eventually inspired all the other types of music featured in this game. And when musical styles are zombies, it is fitting that their king is…well…the King.
Rather than using an era for this inspired booze bomb, I have been inspired by Elvis’s love of weird food combinations, specifically the peanut butter, banana, and bacon sandwich. This drink should be consumed last out of all of them because, even though a couple after this one contain a much higher level of alcohol, the drink is very heavy and filling. Also, oh yeah, there’s bacon involved. It is named after one of the few quotes that this not too bright tub of lard has, as your loved one will probably hate and/or judge you after consuming this gargleblaster.
Love Hates Me
1oz 99 Bananas
1/2 oz nutliquor peanut butter vodka
1/2 oz Godiva white chocolate liqueur
Several strips of bacon, fried
Green colored maraschino cherry
Place all ingredients except bacon into a blender. Blend well. Pour into a large glass. Decorate with strips of crispy bacon around the edge of the glass, top with whipped cream and the unsettling cherry. Enjoy?
4: Josey, The Master of Funk
Well if it isn’t the funniest boss in the game, and possibly the weirdest. We’re talking weirder than normal Suda51 here. Weirder than DESTROYMAN. Josey is practically indescribable. He has the most ridiculous costume that is some amalgamation of pimp, voodoo priest, and squick, and his voice is autotuned. There are still a few creepy things about Josey, in spite of how goofy acting and looking he is. Firstly is his eyes, which owe their appearance to the eight-foot piles of cocaine that he is a fan of, but more disturbingly is that his mouth does not move when he speaks and he almost never breaks his smile. His boss fight is very weird and trippy, taking elements from video games and featuring more neon than Las Vegas at night, but it’s certainly fun! Like Josey, funk music is a strange entity. It was born in the 1960s with artists like James Brown, Sly and the Family Stone, and even Jimi Hendrix adding to its unique style. Funk floundered for some time before being picked up again in the early eighties with Prince and Rick James, (to whom Josey owes a LOT of his influence). In short, it’s a strange mess with good sound, but it’s certainly memorable.Although my preference when it comes to funk is certainly the early stuff, I can appreciate the Superfreak in everyone.
I was perhaps the most excited to create this drink out of all of them because I knew that it was here that I could get really crazy and fun without consequence. How would I do this? Why, by making a glow in the dark drink of course! Tonic water contains ingredients that glow in the dark, and especially under blacklight. To add to the glow, I have included glowing ice cubes in all colors to create a really funky experience. As for the drink itself, it’s a riff off of the party drink of champions, Jungle Juice. As such, this is NOT to be taken lightly, It’s the most ridiculous thing I have ever made. Not even kidding. This groovy drink will make you want to dance and whether that is a good or bad thing is up to you.
1/4 oz Smirnoff citrus
1/4 oz Smirnoff grape
1/4 oz Smirnoff watermelon
1/4 oz Island Punch Pucker
1/4 oz Kool Aid, (any flavor you like)
1/2 oz Pineapple juice
1/4 oz tonic water
1/2 oz clear soda, like Sprite
frozen pink lemonade concentrate to taste
Glowing ice cubes in assorted colors
Mix all ingredients. Serve in a tall glass with the glowing ice cubes and a really cool twisty straw. Garnish with a ring of pineapple and half a strawberry. Get freaky.
Are you trashed yet? No?! Well there are two more bosses coming in the next post, and that means more booze!