Ten Best Character Themes from Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: All Star Battle

Not all badass character themes are created equal.

Let me get this out of the way. You all know I love Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure. I just recently picked up All Star Battle and oh my god is it magical. It’s a bit wonky for a fighting game, but has the charm of the series that I love so much. One thing I found that was unique is that each character has their own theme that plays when they are either fought or you are fighting as them, which makes the experience all the more epic. Of course with a series inspired by classic rock, there are some amazing things going on here, so I am going to count down my ten favorites out of a MASSIVE character roster.

The criteria isn’t necessarily how much I like the song or character in question, but how well it fits the character, so unfortunately some amazing themes that don’t quite fit well will not make it onto the list.

Honorable Mention: The Disturbing ACDC (ACDC)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cv_qe5oQoPo

Well look at who just barely missed another JJBA list of mine again? This song, while not the most earwormy of the Pillar Men themes, (that’d be Kars’), nor the most grandiose, (that’d be Wham’s), fits the character the best. One of the most intense themes in the game, it really fits ACDC’s personality as eccentric and unpredictable. However, I feel an issue with all Pillar Men themes is the lack of dubstep. I mean, that’s what they’re all about! Still the most fitting out of the bunch.

10: Golden Spirit (Josuke Higashikata)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpyGfQYFh10

I really really like Josuke. He’s my second favorie Jojo and one of the nicest protagonists in the series. His theme seems a tad generic, but it is heroic and upbeat nonetheless and accompanies him well. It would be higher on this list if it weren’t for more fitting themes and seeming a bit too close to other themes in the game. Still, it belongs on this list because of its bright sound.

9: Kiss of Love and Revenge (Hermes Costello)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2mt1r0Z2m4

A sexy theme for a sexy lady, but there is more to this theme than that. Aside from being catchy, it fits with Hermes’ personality well, but also with her motives. Granted it’s a sultry tune, but it also sounds dark in parts, and her entire purpose for being in the prison is to kill the man who murdered her sister. A great song for the older sister figure so many readers wish they had.

8: Then, Could You Tell Me…Who am I? (Jou2ke Higashikata)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_SvtYpMQ0A

I’m trying to follow along with Jojolion as best as I can, but from what I can see right now, this theme fits brilliantly with the newest Jojo, and without a doubt, the -strangest- Jojo. He’s probably the campiest, most eccentric main character since Joseph, and that is entirely okay! Jou2ke, as he is often dubbed, has a catchy and heroic theme with ample quirkiness. Props to the creative team of ASB for making a good theme for a character who we don’t even fully understand yet.

7: Go…”Sex Pistols” (Guido Mista)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AI78sVbQuA4

Here we have an oddball when it comes to themes in this game. This song not only well represents its character, but also represents his fears. A song in 4/4 time…with a title containing four syllables and a beat that contains four notes in succession. It’s like the song is trolling poor Mista, who if you hadn’t guessed, has an irrational fear of the number 4. This was too witty not to make it onto my list.

6: Aggression and Victory (Jean Pierre Polnareff)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NB2P-dzu28

Impusive, hotheaded, and quirky, that is what this song is. It’s also highly memorable. Its fast pace fits perfectly with Polnareff’s fast paced fighting style, and it has its moments of lightheartedness in the moments of aggressive heroism, just like the man himself. It’s relentless, whereas many of the other heroic themes for Part 3 characters are more laid back, which shows that Polnareff is generally the first to jump into action, and the first to get his ass handed to him.

5: They Are All Those of “Justice” (Funny Valentine)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoQ_jPWoQg0

The best main villain theme in the game. Many of the others sound generically dark and menacing, Valentine’s brings the funk and still manages to sound somewhat imposing in parts. It’s surprisingly fitting for a villain who believes he is doing what is right for his country. One of the more sympathetic main villains of the series and well loved by the majority of America, this theme fits Valentine perfectly. Much Patriotism, such Stars and Stripes, so America.

4: Ultra Super Guitarist (Akira Otoishi)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yA_847kvmY

Talk about a strange character to put into a fighting game. For sure I thought the people who made ASB would pick the elder Nijimura sibling, but they chose the “super guitarist” Akira. And super guitar this theme certainly has. It also fits well with his electrical powers. Akira was certainly an oddball antagonist and a large ham, overly confident in his powers as the “savior of rock and roll”, and this song certainly shows this.

3: New York Jojo (Joseph Joestar)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIyJjoAFbxY

The single best main protagonist theme in the game, this tune is upbeat and fun but heroic, totally matching the completely relatable character. Joseph being my favorite Jojo has no bearing on this whatsoever, and the fact that the theme is incredibly catchy doesn’t help things either. Endearing, memorable, and with a lighthearted quirkiness to it, this theme IS Joseph in all his glory.

2: HELL2U! (Mohamed Avdol)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44r47QDWjYk

I feel like I have to stress that this isn’t based on how much I like the characters, because Avdol is my favorite character of Part 3, but this song is PERFECT. It’s almost like it is taunting you, and you can hear Avdol’s famous “tsk,tsk” in the background of some parts. Parts of it also are reminiscent of rising flame and it has a quality reminiscent of Avdol’s Egyptian heritage. And there is nothing better than a theme that outright mocks the people you are playing against, right?

And the best character theme from ASB is…

1: MEGYAN  (Hol Horse)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_Frwi9mE5o

I do not even have words for how well this song accompanies its character. It’s like they were following behind the inept gunslinger and making the song fit his every bumbling move. As soon as you hear this song you can immediately connect it with the character, which a lot of other songs you cannot do. It has a country twang and a dramatic flair for the ever confident Hol Horse, one of my favorite side villains of Part 3. Good Job, ASB, not only for including this character but for taking time with his amazing theme song.

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10 Creepiest things in World of Warcraft

Believe it or not, there are scarier things that being stuck in a bad PUG

A lot of people have talked about the things in WoW that scare them. Well, here’s my contribution. That’s about it for a description. This is just a ranking of my favorite creepy things in the game. Enjoy!

Honorable Mentions:

Goblin Children

Echoes of Lordaeron

The Duskwood Eyes

These…things…

The Rise of the Defiler

10: The Goldshire Children

That’s right, I put the famous Goldshire children at the bottom of my list. Why? Because Goldshire is a terrible place and we shall not speak of it. Honestly, the constant trolling on non-Moonguard servers, and the constant ERP on Moonguard take away from the eeriness of the Goldshire children. However, it still makes the list because of how famous it is and still being somewhat spooky on quiet servers.

9: Gnoll Tents

The gnolls' humanskin tents

This is one that people tend to overlook, as I have had to explain this a couple times. To put it simply, tents used by gnolls are made out of human skin, and in some cases, tanned and stretched human faces. It’s as simple as that.

8:  The Path of Glory

Part tragic and part horrifying is the oft overlooked Path of Glory. Many people charge into Hellfire Peninsula without looking around…but if you look down, you can see that the road is utterly paved with thousands upon thousands of skeletons. Draenei skeletons. The many Draenei that the Legion and the Orcs alike massacred. This amount of death is nearly unparalleled in World of Warcraft, and shows the horrific plight that the Draenei endured.

7: The Weeping Quarry

Inspired by H.P. Lovecraft’s “The Colour out of Space” is a mysterious, hideous blob at the bottom of a lake in Northrend. It is entirely unexplained but commonly assumed to be a regenerating Yogg-Saron or a fragment of his destroyed body.

6: The Sludge Fields

The closest thing WoW has to a concentration camp, this location is one of the creepiest in World of Warcraft. Full of mangled corpses, ghouls, and dominated by an insane warden, this place even horrifies forsaken player characters. Special mention goes to the human “seedlings” that you can free from the soil, or take the sadistic option of bashing their heads in. A really unsettling zone to play through, even if you eventually give the warden what he deserves.

5: Stalvan Mistmantle

Just…Stalvan Mistmantle. The single creepiest non-boss NPC in WoW, Stalvan becomes even creepier if you are a woman. Why? Because he was a tutor who fell in love with his student, but when he saw her with another man and she rejected his affections, he hacked up her, her lover, and several other people up with an axe. It’s okay though, because he was killed…right? Nope! In Cataclysm, Stalvan rises from the grave to continue his mad reign of terror. This story, aside from the resurrection business, is so close to several stories of real life murders that it is unsettling.

4:The Horrors of Scholomance

I HATE that Scholomance was retooled, because some of the stories contained within the original version are some of the most unsettling things I have heard during my time of playing WoW. All humor involving the Barov brothers aside, the tales of the tortured souls trapped within the walls of the dark academy are indeed horrifying, so horrifying, that it was so hard choose one to trump them all.  However, I eventually settled on the fate of the Sarkhoffs, the butler and maid to the Barov family who were tortured endlessly, experiencing the utter destruction of their bodies by the WoW equivalent of Josef Mengele while still alive and conscious. The reason why this is not higher on my list? The retooling, which although still has its share of horror does not hold a candle to the pre-MoP nightmare.

3: The Upside Down Sinners/ Karazhan Crypts

Everyone knew that this one was going to make it onto the list. It’s entirely unexplained, and entirely creepy. Probably the most famous hidden area in the game, the Karazhan crypts is originally assumed to be an extension of the already somewhat creepy Karazhan raid, my favorite raid in the game. One can glitch through a building in order to find themselves in a room surrounded by dead bodies all hanging suspended upside down in water. Sometimes horror that is never explained can be more terrifying than something that you understand.

2: Thaddius

If it weren’t for number one, this amalgamation of the flesh and souls of women and children would be the scariest boss in the game. Trapped in a behemoth of their own skin, the souls cry out unexpectedly during the Naxxramas instance, asking for help, screaming, and being terrified. This is a more subtle one, as unless you play with sound and boost the volume, you will not hear this, and many people do not know Thaddius’s lore. Still, this is horror at its best, and by far the scariest thing in Wrath.

And the creepiest thing in World of Warcraft is…

1: The Whispers of C’thun

Imagine this: you are traversing an organic pulsing hive full of twisted insects, some partially humanoid in shape, and you are concentrating on fighting your way through, and all of a sudden with NO warning you hear in the corner of your ear…

“You are already dead…”

If you were playing with headphones like I was, you probably screamed obscenities in surprise and fear, wondering where the HELL that was coming from. C’thun is an old god. He is all powerful and able to control the minds of people. It is implied by the whispering that your character is going insane and that C’thun is slowly worming his way into their mind. The unexpected shock factor of the whispers and the implications of it make the mad whispers of the old god the single creepiest thing in World of Warcraft.

Chilling Channels: nana825763

A series dedicated to entire channels of horror and fear.

The first channel I have chosen to highlight on this new series is nana825763, also known as the Username666 channel. Although I find the Username666 pasta to be dull and uninspired, nana825763’s channel is one of madness and terror. The creator of the channel specializes in unexplainable twisted stop motion and edited videos. Some of them start off as fairly normal and devolve into gradual horror, whereas others begin the horror right off the bat. Their imagery is unlike anything I have seen before on youtube and it is a shame that only the Username666 video has a lot of views.

Their first video “Doll” is my personal favorite, although the famous Username666 video is worth a watch because, without the context as “the devil’s youtube channel” it is rather spooky.

Give these a watch late at night with all the lights turned off.

Link: https://www.youtube.com/user/nana82576

On a Serious Note: The Slenderman Stabbing and Implications for Creepypasta and Horror

https://i1.wp.com/i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/033/182/slenderman-1-708110.jpg

Some anvils need to be dropped.

In light of the recent decision that the two girls that attempted to stab their friend to death last May will be tried as adults, I think I will take the time to address some concerns that some people may have about the Creepypasta fandom and horror in general.

“Be careful what your children read! Monitor your children online!”, newscasters wail, building fear in parents and children. But is that really why these children did what they did? Did Slenderman really make them do it? Is Horror somehow harmful to children? The answer is a short, simple “NO”. There are many other factors that can lead a person to want to commit a murder, but the “trigger” has to be there in the first place. When one is aged 12, one should understand right from wrong and know that murdering someone is a horrible act. I did. Every child in my class did. We punched each other, made fun of each other, but we knew that murder was horrible.

So then what about kids and horror? Shouldn’t kids not be exposed to scary things? Well…I think the Nostalgia Critic explains it well. We SHOULD scare our kids, but at levels they are comfortable with:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ej_gAWacmiY

But what happens when kids get older and they still crave that adrenaline rush of terror? Well, they become horror junkies, like yours truly. I was into Goosebumps books, the Wyrd Museum books, and of course, Scary Stories to tell in the Dark. But because I was raised well, not sheltered from horror, (Thanks for showing me the Sleepy Hollow cartoon when I was a young child, mom /sarcasm), and understood the divide between reality and fiction at a young age. I gradually challenged myself and found my limits as I grew older, and now I feel I have a healthy relationship with horror. It just requires a healthy support system and good parenting, which I feel that these girls were deprived of. We shouldn’t censor horror for our children, but we should support them when they are scared We should reassure them that these things are fictional and sooner or later, they will learn this as well.

I can’t say why these girls killed their friends, but I am sure Slenderman, the Creepypasta community, and horror writers did not tell these girls “Hey killing your friend is a great idea!”. I hope that those conducting the case realize this. Not everyone who likes horror is some messed up person who is a threat to society. In fact, most of us are normal, everyday people who wouldn’t dream of causing harm to another. living being. There is something wrong with these girls and I hope the victim gets the justice she deserves.

Eccentric Burning Fanfic Reaction

That’s generally my reaction to fanfiction too…

This is what happens when I want to address an issue with Battle Tendency fanfiction and decide to do so in the dorkiest way possible. I’ve noticed a disturbing trend of slash fiction between Kars and Wham, when people forget that Kars has a partner and that the two basically raised Wham and Santana.

I put on my best voicing chops and try to channel how Esidisi would react to finding things like that on the internet.